Dear Denise: Where do I start to spice up our sex life and try new things?

I was a little offended at first, but we have been together a long time, so I realise it is no harm.

I was half thinking of coming up with a New Year resolution list of sex positions and different things we could try to really show I have put in the effort, but I honestly don’t know where to start. All help would be very much appreciated.

Answer: This is exciting and I think your wife is really going to appreciate that you are listening to what she wants and are game to try something new. It’s normal for sex to ebb and flow over a course of a committed relationship. I could say have sex outdoors, role play or read the Kama Sutra, but you don’t want to overcomplicate things or feel like you’re ticking off a chore list when it comes to the bedroom.

You should first sit down with your wife and talk about your desires and what really gets you going. This is the perfect opportunity to be truly open-minded and indulge in some of your innermost fantasies. If you’re stuck for some new positions to try, a quick Google search will lead you to any number of ‘30-Day Sex Position’ challenges. Good luck and have fun.

His bedroom giggles are freaking me out

Dear Denise: I have recently started dating a new man, who is very lovely by the way, but something strange happens every time we have sex and I don’t know whether or not I am overreacting. Whenever we are together — the sex is really good and I feel like he is really into it — when he orgasms he always laughs directly after it. I don’t know whether to be terrified or if this is just some strange quirk that I should get used to.

I am too embarrassed to bring it up but it always catches me off guard because I am so in the moment and sometime it puts me off from finishing. Is he laughing at me? And is this not the strangest thing?

Answer: Honestly, as it stands, this really isn’t that strange at all. Getting the giggles during sex can be quite common and it can also affirm how comfortable your new beau is with you to be his most authentic self in such an intimate setting.

Laughing can also be a nervous reaction, so maybe he’s just completely overcome that he’s landed a catch like you. After an orgasm your body also releases so many feel-good hormones that can cause someone to well up, cry or in some cases, giggle.

This man is not laughing at you, but is best to tell him exactly how you feel so you can be comfortable the next time sex is on the table.

Query: My wife is really into reading and said she’d quite fancy adding some erotica to her reading list. Any books you’d recommend to add some spice to the bedroom? Answer: If you haven’t watched the TV adaptation of Jilly Cooper’s Rivals, now is the time to snap up some of her books, there’s plenty of steamy sex scenes to keep things interesting.

Query: I’m a very tired mam and I’m half thinking of adding a sex calendar into our monthly diary — or might this be a turnoff for my husband? Answer: There’s nothing wrong with scheduled sex once sex is happening: life is busy and like anything that’s important, sometimes you have to plan ahead. If it works for you, why not?

Email your problems to: Denise Smith denise.smith@sundayworld.com